21 Ways To Keep Your Relationship Strong, Healthy, & Happy

Those who went on to divorce turned toward each other’s bids only 33% of the time. Whether you’ve been together for 2 months or 20 years, every relationship needs maintenance. It doesn’t require dramatic grand gestures, a five-day couples’ retreat in Bali, or memorizing your partner’s entire astrological birth chart (unless you’re into that).

When You’ve Just Had A Big Fight

We’ve all experienced having someone laugh at a mistake we made, or at a comedian we find offensive. Naturally, this doesn’t particularly bring out many warm and fuzzy feelings. You can also try adapting to their conversation style while talking to them. If they’re talking a mile a minute in a very exciting way, try being more enthusiastic too to make you two feel more similar.

Does someone you know have a special occasion coming up? Choose your gift wisely, because this is another hidden opportunity to form a deeper connection with them. These are all great activities to bond with friends, but also great ways to get closer to someone you barely know. These results in conjunction with past research suggest that it takes somewhere between 40 hr and 60 hr to form a casual friendship in the first 6 weeks after meeting.

Not every relationship will go through every stage, and each couple might find a different stage to be the hardest one to endure. If you need assistance booking, we’ll be happy to help — our support team is available 7 days a week. Download the Paired app for more research-backed relationship advice and couple exercises designed by experts. Psychologists refer to this as our “attributional style”. Couples who had friendships with other couples enjoyed happier marriages overall, according to research conducted out of the University of Maryland Baltimore. When researchers at the University of Michigan studied almost 3,000 married couples, they found that those with similar drinking habits enjoyed happier lives together.

After 3 months, acquaintances may continue to accumulate hours together, but this time does not appear to increase the chance of becoming casual friends. It might surprise you to hear that giving advice is also helpful to become closer with others. You might find yourself face to face with someone who isn’t sharing about themselves at all. Sharing too much too early can bring a developing relationship to a sudden halt. That depends on the type of relationship, the location of the interaction, and the level of intimacy.

One of the hardest things to do during a conflict is to stop and redirect the focus. We’ve all said the wrong thing that we wished we could take back after we weren’t so angry. For example, say that you grew up with an abusive parent who took advantage of the other hardworking parent.

Interestingly, this principle works even more for painful experiences. People who had to do painful tasks together felt much more bonded afterward than those who did painless activities. This explains in part what creates bonds between people who experienced a natural disaster or were in the military together. Use these three tips to create experiences that help you get closer to someone as a friend or partner. The second part of the study has great news for all the busy folks out there.

You can understand where your partner is coming from and what they are feeling without agreeing. This is how to keep a relationship strong and happy. Relationships, against what is commonly believed, are not as challenging to maintain as they are said to be. Inculcating some habits and behaviors in your daily life is sufficient to keep your relationship strong, healthy, and happy. “It’s important to be aware of the areas where your partner is especially vulnerable,” Dr. Coleman says.

No matter how much you miss them, don’t forget about other important areas of your life. Being physically apart more often than not can be rough on a relationship. Keeping the romance alive takes extra effort on everyone’s part. Broken trust can take a toll on everyone in the relationship. “Trust can never be restored until the person whose trust was broken allows their partner a chance to earn it back,” Kraushaar affirms.

Drop The Scorekeeping

• Most people understand the importance of listening, but they are still struggling to communicate effectively.
• So having similarities is also what keeps you bonded with others.
• If you want your relationship to feel equal, there’s a really simple trick you can use.

Read on to learn why emotional intimacy is important and how to build it. April Eldemire, LMFT, is a psychotherapist who specializes in marriage and couples issues, new-parenthood transitions and blended family dynamics. Even the most beautiful violin needs to be tuned regularly—not because it’s broken, but because that’s how it stays in harmony.

Challenge yourself to take on one (or more) small task a day and soon you will notice improvements in your relationship that, over time, will accumulate into big changes. Constructive conversations can be achieved by slowing down and allowing enough time for true exploration and understanding before jumping to problem solving. One way this can be achieved is by taking turns being the Speaker and the Listener. This will give you both time to share and will allow you both to have a turn practicing your active listening skills. Once you both feel heard and understood, you can move into compromise from a place of teamwork. Emotions are our GPS in life and they also help us connect to others.

How To Improve Your Relationship In 1 Minute

If you are in a life threatening situation – don’t use this site. Call 988 or use these resources to get immediate help. If you want your relationship to feel equal, there’s a really simple trick you can use. “Practicing each other’s love language will you stay connected and in tune with each other,” Berger says.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending nothing happened. It means processing, acknowledging the hurt, and choosing to move forward, not weaponizing past mistakes every time you argue. Your partner isn’t clay to mold; they’re a human being with strengths and flaws. Plan something intentional—even if it’s just tacos and a walk.

Your partner may be the same or more likely different than you. Our tendency, however, is to show our partner love in the way we receive love. But if your partner differs from you, you will be missing opportunities to help them feel loved.

She specializes in anger, anxiety, depression, is La-Date fake stress management, coping strategies development, and problem-solving skills. Dr. John Gottman, author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, uses these six signs to predict divorce in married couples. Thriveworks offers flexible and convenient therapy services, available both online and in-person nationwide, with psychiatry services accessible in select states. Furthermore, the couples who held hands showed lower stress levels and found a solution more quickly than the other group. “Physical closeness expresses that we’re there for our partner; that they can trust us and have our support,” says Dr. Gabb. Playfulness in a relationship provides an opportunity for fun and frivolity, a moment of sensual intimacy, and a space in which to hold at bay “the blues”.

Beyond that, studies show a link between how couples approach conflict and physical health, which is even more of an incentive to learn how to resolve disagreements — it’s literally good for you. No matter how strong your connection is as a couple, maintaining that spark is crucial. Without ongoing effort, you and your partner might eventually find yourselves stuck in a loop of recurring problems, or living in a boring routine that winds up driving you apart. But all of that can be prevented if you look for little ways to improve your relationship, every day. Fighting fairly means that you maintain respect for one another and keep the focus on the issue, not on one another. When we feel upset, it can be hard to express ourselves without attacking our partner but this is crucial to maintaining a healthy relationship.

These added emotions help strengthen their bond with the person who gave the gift. It seems the key to forming a deeper connection in a conversation is to show high responsiveness. Be sure to use the active listening strategies, but if you think of a helpful suggestion, don’t be afraid to share it too. Another researcher notes that shared laughter is especially good for keeping a relationship strong before having difficult or conflict-prone conversations. Wanting to be liked by others is pretty hard-wired into us.

You need to find out what your partner needs to feel loved and work on showing them love in the way that works best for them. Emotional bids, are any effort on the part of one partner to connect or get their partner’s attention. Improving your relationship in 24 hours may seem like a daunting (or even impossible) task.